HOW DO I STOP SETTLING FOR LESS THAN I DESERVE IN MY RELATIONSHIPS?
HAVE YOU EVER FOUND YOURSELF ASKING, "WHY DO I KEEP SETTLING FOR LESS THAN I DESERVE IN MY RELATIONSHIPS?" IT'S A THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUESTION THAT MANY OF US HAVE WRESTLED WITH AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER, AND THIS WEEK'S NEWSLETTER AIMS TO ADDRESS IT HEAD-ON. GET READY TO REDISCOVER YOUR WORTH AND RAISE YOUR STANDARDS IN THE REALM OF RELATIONSHIPS. LET'S DIVE IN!
It's a conundrum that many people find themselves facing. You're in a relationship that's okay, but you can't shake the feeling that something is missing. Perhaps you're enduring toxic or unfulfilling interactions, all the while aware that you deserve better. If this sounds familiar, it's time to redefine your relationship standards. So, how do you stop settling for less than you deserve in your relationships? Here are some key steps.
Self-Reflection
Begin by examining your relationship history. Are there patterns of behaviour or types of individuals that continually surface? Have you been compromising on crucial matters such as mutual respect, emotional availability, and shared interests? Be brutally honest with yourself, and recognise where you might have settled for less than you deserve. This awareness is the first step towards change.
Define Your Worth
To stop settling, you need to clearly understand your worth. Often, we accept less than we deserve because we underestimate our value. Take time to write down your strengths, achievements, and what you bring to a relationship. This process should help you grasp the importance of your individuality and unique qualities, and why you deserve a partner who appreciates these aspects.
Set Your Non-Negotiables
What are the attributes that are absolutely essential in a future partner? These might be things like honesty, respect, emotional intelligence, or shared life goals. Knowing your non-negotiables will help you spot potential red flags early in a relationship and prevent you from sliding into the same old patterns. Remember, it's okay to have high standards. This doesn't mean you're too picky, it simply means you know your worth.
Learn to Be Comfortable Alone
Often, people settle in relationships due to fear of being alone. However, solitude can be a powerful time for self-discovery and personal growth. Use this time to pursue interests, develop new skills, and grow emotionally and spiritually. Being comfortable with your own company reinforces the idea that a relationship should complement your life, not complete it.
Establish Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are crucial for any healthy relationship. They set the stage for mutual respect and ensure that you maintain your self-identity. Determine what is and isn't acceptable behaviour from a partner, and be prepared to communicate and uphold these boundaries.
Be Patient
Finally, be patient with yourself. Changing longstanding patterns of behavior takes time and practice. There may be setbacks along the way, but it's important to stay committed to your goal of refusing to settle for less than you deserve.
Remember that the relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. By understanding your worth, setting and respecting your boundaries, and refusing to compromise on your non-negotiables, you will foster a healthier relationship environment. You deserve a relationship that brings happiness, growth, and mutual respect. Never settle for less.
Nicole is a certified dating and relationship coach who specialises in helping people navigate the complex world of modern love and dating as well as attract and cultivate healthy relationships. Her areas of focus include mindset, attachment, trauma, relationship patterning, inner child and abandonment wounds, communication, conflict management, trust issues, confidence, co-dependency, boundary work, breakups, and infidelity.
