WHY YOU MIGHT BE DISTRACTING YOURSELF WITH A WOUND MATE
ARE YOU STUCK IN A ROMANTIC DÉJÀ VU, DRAWN TO THE SAME TYPES OVER AND OVER? DIVE INTO THIS WEEK'S NEWSLETTER AS WE UNRAVEL THE ENIGMA OF THE "WOUND MATE." DISCOVER WHY YOU MAY BE UNKNOWINGLY SEEKING COMFORT IN FAMILIAR PAIN AND HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM THESE HAUNTING PATTERNS. PRO TIP: IT'S NOT ABOUT FINDING "THE ONE"; IT'S ABOUT UNDERSTANDING THE "WRONG ONE."
Let’s talk about why you might be distracting yourself with a wound mate.
Think of a wound mate as a mirror, reflecting what’s left to heal in us. We’re drawn to them not because they’re ‘the one’, but because they feel familiar and give us an excuse to delay our own personal growth and remain wounded.
In these relationships, we might play the victim, clinging to past hurts rather than healing. For example, someone who grew up with an absent parent might find themselves drawn to distant partners, fearing the challenge of confronting their abandonment issues more than putting up with the familiarity of neglect.
But if we want to heal and attract healthy love into our lives, working on ourselves by evolving past our wound mate is key. Here are some steps to help you:
1. Start with awareness: Identify and understand the recurring patterns that have kept you trapped in cycles of pain.
2. Shift your perspective: Instead of asking "Why is this happening to me?", ask "What can I learn from this?".
3. Reaffirm your values: Understand what's truly important to you in a relationship and in life and stay true to those values.
4. Practice self-love: Prioritise daily affirmations, journaling, and self-care to reinforce your sense of worth.
5. Set boundaries: Know what you’ll tolerate and stick to it.
6. Broaden your horizons: Embrace new experiences, connect with different people, and seek what's truly aligned with your authentic self.
Growth is born from the grind. Face those demons, cut the chains, and refuse to settle for a love that does nothing but reopen old wounds. Dive deep, fight hard, and claim the love you deserve. No more excuses. Let's get to work.
Until next week!
Nicole is a certified trauma-informed dating and relationship coach who specialises in helping people navigate the complex world of modern love and dating as well as attract and cultivate healthy relationships. Her areas of focus include mindset, attachment, trauma, relationship patterning, inner child and abandonment wounds, communication, conflict management, trust issues, confidence, co-dependency, boundary work, breakups, and infidelity.
