I KEEP DATING NARCISSISTS WHAT DO I DO?
TIRED OF FALLING FOR NARCISSISTS? YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
IT'S FRUSTRATING TO KEEP REPEATING THE SAME TOXIC CYCLE, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY SO MANY PEOPLE DO. NARCISSISTS CAN BE CHARMING AND MANIPULATIVE, AND IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY TO SPOT THEIR TOXIC TRAITS UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE. PLUS, WALKING AWAY FROM A NARCISSISTIC PARTNER CAN BE INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT, ESPECIALLY IF THEY USE FEAR AND CONTROL TO KEEP YOU TRAPPED.
IN THIS LATEST NEWSLETTER, I EXPLAIN WHY WALKING AWAY FROM A NARCISSISTIC PARTNER IS NOT EASY AND SHARE STEPS TO BREAK THE CYCLE OF DATING NARCISSISTS.
Dating can be an exciting and fulfilling experience, but unfortunately, it can also be a source of frustration and pain, especially when we repeatedly find ourselves dating narcissists. Narcissists are individuals who have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, lack empathy for others, and crave constant attention and admiration. They can be charming and charismatic, making it difficult to recognise their true nature until we are already invested in the relationship. If you find yourself in this situation, you're not alone. Many people struggle with leaving toxic relationships, particularly those with narcissists.
One factor that can make it difficult to break the pattern of dating narcissists is the tactic known as DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. DARVO is a common strategy that narcissists use to manipulate and control their partners. When confronted with their behavior, narcissists may deny any wrongdoing, attack their partner by shifting blame or attacking their character, and then reverse the roles so that they are the victim and their partner is the offender. This can leave their partner feeling confused, gaslit, and trapped in the relationship.
If you're struggling to walk away from a narcissist, it's important to recognise the signs of narcissism. Narcissists are often self-absorbed, controlling, manipulative, and lack empathy. They may also exhibit grandiose behavior, constantly seek attention and admiration, and belittle others to boost their own ego. By being aware of these traits, you can start to recognise red flags early on in a relationship and avoid getting involved with a narcissist.
It's also important to recognise the signs of DARVO and learn how to respond to it. If your partner denies or minimises their behavior, it's essential to trust your instincts and not let them gaslight you. If they attack you, it's important to maintain your boundaries and not engage in their attempts to manipulate you. And if they try to reverse the roles and play the victim, it's important to remember that you are not responsible for their behavior and that they are the ones causing harm.
It's also important to recognise that leaving a relationship with a narcissist can be difficult and may require support from others. Narcissists often try to isolate their partners from friends and family, which can make it challenging to seek help. However, reaching out to loved ones, seeking professional support, or even joining a support group can provide you with the resources and backup you need to break free from the toxic relationship.
Another crucial step is to work on building your self-esteem. Narcissists often target individuals who have low self-esteem, as they are easier to manipulate and control. By working on your self-confidence and self-worth, you can create a stronger sense of self and be less likely to tolerate toxic behavior from others.
Setting boundaries is also essential in any relationship, particularly with a narcissist. Narcissists are known for pushing boundaries and violating personal space, so it's important to establish clear boundaries and communicate them to your partner. This can include setting limits on the amount of time you spend together, establishing what behaviors are and are not acceptable, and being assertive when your boundaries are crossed.
Dating narcissists can be a frustrating and painful experience, but there are steps you can take to break the pattern and walk away from a toxic relationship and create a healthier and happier future for yourself. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect, kindness, and empathy, and by taking these steps, you can make that a reality.
NC x
Nicole is a certified dating and relationship coach who specialises in helping people navigate the complex world of modern love and dating as well as attract and cultivate healthy relationships. Her areas of focus include mindset, attachment, trauma, relationship patterning, inner child and abandonment wounds, communication, conflict management, trust issues, confidence, co-dependency, boundary work, breakups, and infidelity.
