5 WAYS TO MOVE PAST INFIDELITY
IMAGINE BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR OVER A DECADE, GIVING YOUR ALL TO THE PERSON YOU LOVE, ONLY TO HAVE YOUR TRUST SHATTERED TIME AND TIME AGAIN. MY CLIENT RECENTLY FOUND HERSELF IN THIS HEART-WRENCHING SITUATION, GRAPPLING WITH THE NEWS THAT HER PARTNER HAD ONCE AGAIN BEEN UNFAITHFUL. DESPITE HIS REPEATED BETRAYALS AND A HISTORY OF CHEATING IN PAST RELATIONSHIPS, HE INSISTS THAT HE ONLY LOVES HER AND WANTS TO MAKE THINGS WORK BETWEEN THEM. STRUGGLING WITH THE HEAVY WEIGHT OF HEARTACHE AND DISAPPOINTMENT, THIS WEEK MY CLIENT CAME TO ME WITH A QUESTION THAT RESONATES WITH SO MANY IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS: HOW DO YOU FORGIVE AND MOVE FORWARD WHEN THE ONE YOU LOVE HAS REPEATEDLY BROKEN YOUR TRUST? THE PATH OF FORGIVENESS IS NEVER AN EASY ONE, ESPECIALLY WHEN FACED WITH THE SAME DILEMMA TIME AND TIME AGAIN. BUT MY CLIENT WAS DETERMINED TO RISE ABOVE THE TURMOIL AND FIND A WAY TO HEAL AND REBUILD THEIR RELATIONSHIP. CONTINUE READING TO DISCOVER THE ANSWER.
Infidelity is a complex issue that can stem from a variety of reasons. Here are some of the most common causes of infidelity in relationships:
Lack of emotional intimacy: When partners feel disconnected or unsatisfied in their relationship, they may seek emotional fulfillment outside of their partnership. This could be due to a lack of communication, intimacy, or feeling unappreciated.
Boredom and excitement: Sometimes, individuals may cheat because they're seeking novelty or a thrill. This could be due to feeling stuck in a monotonous routine or seeking excitement outside of their relationship.
Unmet needs: When individuals feel like their needs aren't being met in their relationship, they may look elsewhere for fulfillment. This could include physical, emotional, or sexual needs.
Poor relationship dynamics: Relationships that are marked by tension, conflict, or neglect may lead to one or both partners seeking comfort and validation elsewhere.
Substance abuse or addiction: Substance abuse or addiction can significantly impact individuals and their relationships, leading them to engage in behavior that they may not otherwise participate in.
Infidelity can be a traumatic and devastating experience that rocks the foundation of a relationship and can make it difficult to trust and reconnect with your partner. It doesn’t, however, necessarily have to mean the end of a relationship.
It's important to recognise that everyone experiences and processes emotions differently, and there is no single "right" way to behave or treat your partner when you find out they have cheated. Every relationship is unique, and what may work for one couple may not work for another. Additionally, the way in which a person responds to their partner's infidelity can depend on a range of factors, including the nature of the relationship, the individual's personal values and beliefs, and the specific circumstances surrounding the infidelity.
It’s also important to be mindful that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to resolving the issue of infidelity. It's important for each person to make decisions that align with their own values, beliefs, and needs, and to approach the situation with empathy and understanding for their partner's perspective. Ultimately, the best way to treat your partner when you find out they have cheated will depend on your individual relationship, and it is up to each person to determine what works best for them.
While it's understandable to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed, many couples are able to move past infidelity and rebuild a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. This often involves open and honest communication, a focus on rebuilding trust, and a willingness from both partners to work on the relationship. With the right approach and support, it is possible for couples to heal from infidelity and create a stronger, more fulfilling partnership. It takes time, effort, and patience, but it is possible to move past infidelity and create a relationship that is even more loving and supportive than before.
Here are a few tips to help you on your journey:
Communicate openly and honestly: Communication is key in any relationship, but it's especially important when dealing with infidelity. Encourage your partner to be open and honest about their actions and feelings, and make sure you express your own thoughts and emotions in a healthy, respectful way.
Take time for yourself: It's important to give yourself time and space to process your feelings and emotions. This may mean taking a break from the relationship or seeking support from friends, family, or a professional.
Work on building trust: Trust is a vital component of any relationship, and it can take time to rebuild after infidelity. Start small and focus on small acts of trust-building, like following through on promises and being transparent about your actions.
Forgive, but don't forget: Forgiveness is important for moving forward, but it doesn't mean forgetting what happened. Allow yourself to feel and process the hurt, but also make a conscious effort to let go of anger and resentment.
Focus on the present and future: While it's important to acknowledge the past, it's even more important to focus on the present and future. Work on creating a shared vision for your relationship and building a stronger foundation for the future.
Remember, moving past infidelity takes time and effort from both partners. Understanding the underlying causes of infidelity can help individuals work towards healing and creating a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Be patient with yourself and each other, and seek support when needed.
NC x
Nicole is a certified dating and relationship coach who specialises in helping people navigate the complex world of modern love and dating as well as attract and cultivate healthy relationships. Her areas of focus include mindset, attachment, trauma, relationship patterning, inner child and abandonment wounds, communication, conflict management, trust issues, confidence, co-dependency, boundary work, breakups, and infidelity.
