HOW TO SELF SOOTHE YOUR INNER CHILD
THIS WEEK'S NEWSLETTER EXPLORES THE CONNECTION BETWEEN OUR INNER CHILD AND OUR EXPERIENCES IN DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS. WE DELVE INTO HOW THIS OFTEN-OVERLOOKED ASPECT OF OUR PSYCHE, WITH ITS BLEND OF JOY, WONDER, AND SOMETIMES DEEP-SEATED WOUNDS, INFLUENCES OUR REACTIONS AND INTERACTIONS. DISCOVER HOW TRIGGERS IN YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS MIGHT BE ECHOES OF YOUR INNER CHILD'S PAST PAIN AND HOW TO RECOGNISE THESE MOMENTS AS OPPORTUNITIES FOR HEALING AND GROWTH. THIS NEWSLETTER WILL GUIDE YOU THROUGH FIVE POWERFUL STRATEGIES TO NURTURE AND SOOTHE YOUR INNER CHILD, AND IN TURN, CHANGE NOT JUST HOW YOU DATE, BUT HOW YOU RELATE TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
The inner child represents the emotional experiences and memories from our early years. It's the part of us that carries the joy, wonder, and innocence of childhood, but it can also hold wounds from past traumas or unmet needs.
This inner child is not just a relic of the past; it's a part of our present. It constantly sends us messages, often when we're triggered by situations that remind us of past pain or unmet needs.
For example, yelling might trigger your inner child, stirring up emotions connected to past experiences of conflict or harsh words. Similarly, if your partner cheats or breaks up with you, it might trigger an abandonment wound from your early life, evoking feelings of rejection and betrayal.
When you find yourself reacting strongly to something in your current life, consider that it might be your inner child projecting past experiences onto the present. It's a signal that your inner child needs attention and care.
As the saying goes, "The more hysterical, the more historical." This reminds us that intense emotional reactions often have deep roots in our past experiences. Connecting with and validating your inner child can be a healing and transformative process. Here are five ways to self-soothe and nurture your inner child when it comes to dating and relationships:
1. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Remind yourself that it's okay to feel vulnerable, and you are deserving of love and acceptance.
2. Maintain a journal dedicated to your inner child's feelings and experiences in the realm of dating and relationships. Write down any triggers or moments of insecurity, and then respond with reassuring and validating messages.
3. Use positive affirmations tailored to dating and relationships, such as "I am worthy of love and respect," "Rejection does not define my worth," or "I am enough just as I am." Repeat these affirmations regularly to reinforce self-worth.
4. Engage in visualisation exercises where you imagine your inner child feeling safe, loved, and valued in various dating or relationship scenarios. Visualise yourself offering comfort and reassurance to your inner child when faced with rejection or self-doubt.
5. Prioritise self-care activities that make you feel valued and cared for. Whether it's taking a leisurely bath, enjoying a favourite hobby, or spending time in nature or with your pet, engaging in self-care can boost your self-esteem and soothe your inner child's emotional needs.
If you want to learn more about how childhood trauma impacts your romantic relationships, check out this episode on the Love Uncensored podcast here:
Until next week!
Nicole is a certified trauma-informed dating and relationship coach who specialises in helping people navigate the complex world of modern love and dating as well as attract and cultivate healthy relationships. Her areas of focus include mindset, attachment, trauma, relationship patterning, inner child and abandonment wounds, communication, conflict management, trust issues, confidence, co-dependency, boundary work, breakups, and infidelity.
