HOW TO EMBRACE THE JOURNEY and NOT RUSH YOUR TIMELINE
IN THIS WEEK'S NEWSLETTER, WE TAKE A DEEP DIVE INTO THE BEAUTY OF EMBRACING YOUR OWN UNIQUE TIMELINE. INSPIRED BY A PERSONAL JOURNEY OF GROWTH AND A POWERFUL QUOTE FROM SHAUNA NIEQUIST, WE EXPLORE THE IMPORTANCE OF LIVING IN THE PRESENT, NOT RUSHING LIFE, AND WALKING THE PATH TO BECOMING YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. AS WE NAVIGATE THE EXCITING ADVENTURE OF LIFE, IT'S NOT ABOUT RACING TO THE FINISH LINE BUT ABOUT EMBRACING THE JOURNEY, EMBRACING THE UNCERTAINTY, AND ULTIMATELY, EMBRACING OURSELVES.
Recently I woke from a dream that transported me back to a younger version of myself. There I was, out on a Saturday night, surrounded by friends, and lost in the rhythm of music that made us feel invincible. At that time, I was nursing a broken heart, with my mind split between the remnants of my past and the uncertain promises of my future.
Fast forward to today, I find myself in a stage where most of my friends and peers are settling down. They're embarking on the adventure of parenthood, facing real-life adult responsibilities. And as I watch them, there is a part of me that yearns for that period of carefreeness. A time when our identities were not tied to our relationship statuses or job titles, and our main responsibility was discovering who we really were.
It's not that I resent the responsibilities of adulthood. Rather, I realise the value of those fleeting moments that were overlooked while in search for what's next.
This takes me to my favorite quote by Shauna Niequist:
"This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.
Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.
Ask yourself some good questions like: 'Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?'
Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path."
As a dating and relationship coach, I often see clients who are stressed about meeting their life partner, settling down, and starting a family. But what if we change our perspective? What if we see this stage of life not as a rush, but as a journey of self-discovery? The timeline for finding love and building a family is different for everyone, and there's beauty in embracing your own unique timeline.
Every step you take towards your authentic self is a step forward. It's okay to not have everything figured out right now. As Shauna rightly puts it, this season is about becoming. Don't let the fear of the unknown rob you of your ability to enjoy the present. Be bold, take risks, continue to learn and grow. Do not get stuck in a job you hate or in a relationship that's merely satisfactory. Seek out experiences that challenge and enlighten you.
Life truly is about becoming. It's about trying and failing, learning and growing, loving and losing, and, in the process, becoming the best version of ourselves. Life isn’t meant to be a race to the finish line. Rushing can lead us into situations we're not ready for or into paths that aren't aligned with our authentic selves. Instead, strive to build your future in harmony with who you truly are, step by step, experience by experience.
Embrace the uncertainty. Embrace the current chapter of your story, however imperfect or incomplete it may feel. It's just as much a part of your journey as the destination you're longing for.
Until next week!
Nicole is a certified trauma-informed dating and relationship coach who specialises in helping people navigate the complex world of modern love and dating as well as attract and cultivate healthy relationships. Her areas of focus include mindset, attachment, trauma, relationship patterning, inner child and abandonment wounds, communication, conflict management, trust issues, confidence, co-dependency, boundary work, breakups, and infidelity.
