What if I Never Meet the Right Person?

AS WE JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE, ONE OF THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL DESIRES OF THE HUMAN HEART IS TO FIND A SOULMATE. SOMEONE TO SHARE OUR DREAMS WITH, TO GROW OLD WITH, AND TO BUILD A LIFE TOGETHER. BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE STARTING TO WONDER IF THAT'S JUST NOT IN THE CARDS FOR YOU? WHAT IF YOU'RE BEGINNING TO THINK THAT YOU MAY NEVER MEET THE RIGHT PERSON?

 

Firstly, let’s get one thing straight - you are not alone in your feelings. It’s natural to question whether or not you'll find your perfect match, especially when it seems like everyone around you is settling down and starting families. But the truth is that love doesn't always arrive when, or in the package, we expect it to. It can be messy, complicated, and sometimes it can take longer than we anticipated.

So, what do you do if you're starting to lose hope? Well, the good news is that there's no reason to give up just yet. The first step is to take a deep breath and remind yourself that finding the right person is not a race. You don't have to have it all figured out by a certain age, and you certainly don't have to settle for someone just because you feel like time is running out.

Instead, take some time to focus on yourself. Invest in your hobbies, your friendships, and your career. Explore new places, try new things, and don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. When you’re happy and fulfilled in your own life, you'll attract others who share those same values.

Another thing to keep in mind is that there are plenty of ways to meet new people in today's world. Join a coworking space, take a class, or attend a social event. Online dating has become more popular than ever before, and there are many different platforms available that cater to different interests and lifestyles.

One of the best ways to meet new people and potentially find your soulmate is to seek out those who share your interests and values. These are often referred to as "people like us" or PLU. By joining clubs or groups that align with your passions and beliefs, you'll be surrounded by individuals who share similar goals and experiences. This can make it easier to form connections and build relationships, as you'll have a common ground to start from. Not only can you meet potential partners through PLU, but you can also cultivate lasting friendships and support systems.

Try keep in mind that finding the right person is not something that can be forced. It's important to be patient and to trust that love will arrive when the time is right. In the meantime, focus on living your best life and building meaningful connections with the people around you.

If you find that you're consistently not achieving the desired outcome in your love life though, it may be time to consider changing your approach. It's easy to get stuck in a rut when it comes to dating, and sometimes what worked in the past may not be effective in the present. Instead of getting discouraged, try to approach dating with a fresh perspective. This could mean signing up to a matchmaking service or examining your own behaviour and patterns in relationships and work on improving them, such as learning better communication skills or addressing any underlying issues. Remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. By changing your approach, you may find that you're able to achieve the outcome you're looking for.


 

FIVE TIPS YOU CAN TAKE RIGHT NOW

If you're really feeling unsure about whether you'll ever meet your ideal partner, here are five tips that might help take the edge off:

  1. Take a break from dating: Sometimes, taking a break from actively seeking out a partner can be helpful. Instead, focus on yourself and what brings you joy. This can help you feel more content in your own life and allow you to recharge.

  2. Connect with friends: Spending time with friends can be a great way to boost your mood and remind you that you're loved and valued. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can also help you feel more confident in yourself.

  3. Practice self-care: Engaging in activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, reading, or spending time in nature, can help reduce stress and boost your mood. Taking care of yourself can help you feel more optimistic about the future.

  4. Challenge negative thoughts: When you find yourself thinking negatively about your prospects for finding love, try to challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if there's any evidence to support them, and try to reframe them in a more positive light. For example, “I’ll never find love” to “I just haven’t met the right person yet, but they’re out there”.

  5. Stay open to new experiences: While it's important to take breaks and care for yourself, it's also important to stay open to new experiences and opportunities. Say yes to invitations, try new things, and be open to meeting new people. You never know where you might cross paths with the right person!

 

 

Remember, it's completely normal to wonder if you'll ever find the right person but try to not throw in the towel prematurely. Keep an open mind, stay true to yourself, and trust that love will find you when it’s meant to. The journey may be long, but the destination will be worth it.

It's crucial to also understand that if you never meet your person, that's okay too. The most important relationship you can have is the one with yourself. Instead of putting all your energy into finding someone else, invest that energy in yourself and your own personal growth. You never know, by doing so, you may even attract someone who is aligned with your values and interests, and who truly complements your life in a positive way.

It's easy to get caught up in the societal pressure to find a partner and settle down, but it's important to acknowledge that everyone's journey is different. Whether you're single or in a relationship, it's important to prioritise your own happiness and fulfillment above all else. When you're living your best life, you'll attract the right people into your life, whether that's in the form of a romantic partner or a supportive community of friends and family.

 

NICOLE COLANTONI

Nicole is a certified dating and relationship coach who specialises in helping people navigate the complex world of modern love and dating as well as attract and cultivate healthy relationships. Her areas of focus include mindset, attachment, trauma, relationship patterning, inner child and abandonment wounds, communication, conflict management, trust issues, confidence, co-dependency, boundary work, breakups, and infidelity.  


 
Previous
Previous

Are you hung up on your ex?

Next
Next

Is Love Enough?