Are your triggers controlling your relationship?

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOUR EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING THE SHOW, ESPECIALLY IN RELATIONSHIPS? ARE YOU TIRED OF REACTING IMPULSIVELY AND REGRETTING IT LATER? THIS WEEK'S NEWSLETTER IS ALL ABOUT HELPING YOU BREAK FREE FROM THE GRIP OF YOUR TRIGGERS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. LEARN ABOUT THE SCIENCE BEHIND TRIGGERS, HOW TO STOP FEELING AND ACTING ON THEM, AND WHY YOUR TRIGGERS MAY ACTUALLY BE YOUR TEACHERS AND A PATH TO HEALING. PLUS, GAIN PRACTICAL TIPS AND STRATEGIES FOR IDENTIFYING AND COPING WITH YOUR TRIGGERS IN A HEALTHY AND CONSTRUCTIVE WAY, INCLUDING HOW TO STOP REACTING IMPULSIVELY AND START RESPONDING WITH INTENTION.

 

Do you ever feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster, reacting strongly to certain situations without understanding why? Are you tired of feeling like a prisoner to your own emotions in your relationship? Do you find yourself reacting strongly to your partner's actions, even when they're not particularly offensive? If you answered yes, then you're not alone.
 
Many people struggle with controlling their reactions to triggers in their relationships, and it can be frustrating and overwhelming to not understand why. But the good news is that there are ways to gain insight into your behavior and learn how to regulate your emotions.
 
Firstly, it's important to recognise that everyone has triggers, and it's okay to feel upset when something that is important to us is threatened or undermined. However, when our reactions become excessive or disproportionate, they can cause problems in our relationships.

 

The science behind feeling triggered.

When we experience something that threatens our sense of safety, security, or identity, our brains release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This triggers our "fight or flight" response, preparing us to either confront the threat or run away from it.
 
But what happens when we can't physically fight or flee from the threat, like in the case of an emotional trigger? Our brains still release those same stress hormones, causing us to experience intense emotions like anger, fear, or sadness.
 
The key to understanding triggers is recognising that they are rooted in our past experiences and beliefs. When we encounter a situation that reminds us of a past trauma or negative experience, our brains automatically connect the two and activate our fight-or-flight response.
 
The good news is that we can retrain our brains to respond differently to triggers. This involves identifying our triggers, examining the beliefs and experiences that underlie them, and practicing new coping strategies.
 
By understanding the science behind triggers and how our brains process information, we can begin to take control of our emotional responses and live more empowered lives.

 

How to stop feeling triggered.

The first step is to identify your triggers. What situations or behaviours cause you to feel strong emotions like anger, fear, or sadness? Once you have a better understanding of your triggers, you can begin to explore why they are so powerful for you.
 
Next, practice mindfulness. When you feel triggered, take a moment to breathe deeply and focus on your physical sensations. This can help you calm down and regulate your emotions.
 
It's also important to examine your beliefs and values. Are there any underlying beliefs that may be contributing to your strong emotional reactions? By challenging and reframing these beliefs, you can begin to respond differently to triggers.
 
Communication is key as well. Talk to your partner or loved ones about your triggers and how they can support you in managing your emotions. Setting boundaries and practicing effective communication can help prevent triggers from escalating into full-blown arguments.
 
Remember, breaking the cycle of feeling and acting on our triggers takes time and practice. But with patience and perseverance, you can learn to respond in a more constructive and healthy way.

 

What your triggers are trying to tell you.

When we experience strong emotional reactions to certain situations or behaviours, it's a sign that there's something important there for us to learn. Our triggers often stem from past experiences and beliefs that we may not even be aware of.
 
By exploring our triggers and the emotions they evoke, we can gain insight into ourselves and our past experiences. This can help us identify patterns in our behaviour and beliefs that may be holding us back from living our best lives.
 
But it's not just about gaining insight - our triggers can also be a powerful tool for healing. By confronting our triggers and working through the emotions they evoke, we can begin to process and release past traumas and negative experiences.
 
This can be a difficult and sometimes painful process, but it's a necessary step on the path to healing and growth. With the support of a professional or trusted loved ones, we can learn to confront our triggers in a safe and constructive way.
 
So, the next time you feel triggered, try to see it as an opportunity for growth and healing. Your triggers may be uncomfortable, but they are also powerful teachers that can help you live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

 

What you need to do in your relationship.

The key to gaining control over your reactions is to identify your triggers and understand why they are so powerful. This can involve exploring past experiences that may have shaped your reactions, as well as examining your current beliefs and values.
 
Once you have a better understanding of your triggers, you can begin to work on regulating your emotions in the moment. This can involve taking a step back and practicing mindfulness, focusing on your breathing and physical sensations to help calm yourself down.
 
It's also helpful to communicate with your partner about your triggers and how they can support you in managing your emotions. This can involve setting boundaries around certain topics or behaviours, as well as being open and honest about your feelings.
 
Remember, controlling your reactions to triggers is not about suppressing your emotions or denying your feelings. It's about gaining control over your behaviour and learning how to respond in a more constructive and healthy way.
 
If you're struggling with controlling your reactions in your relationship, know that there is hope. By gaining insight into your triggers, practicing mindfulness, and communicating with your partner, you can begin to feel more empowered and in control of your emotions.


NICOLE COLANTONI

Nicole is a certified dating and relationship coach who specialises in helping people navigate the complex world of modern love and dating as well as attract and cultivate healthy relationships. Her areas of focus include mindset, attachment, trauma, relationship patterning, inner child and abandonment wounds, communication, conflict management, trust issues, confidence, co-dependency, boundary work, breakups, and infidelity.  


 
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